Vice in its Proper Shape Read online

  CHAP. VIII.

  _Of the astonishing Transmigration of Miss_ ABIGAIL EVILTONGUE _intothe Body of a Serpent._

  In the next apartment we saw a large wire cage, in which the Bramintold us he had a bird which was something different from the commonones; and so indeed it was, for upon my eldest daughter's going near tosee it, she was startled by a large serpent which darted itself againstthe wires, and hissed and sissed as if it would have stung us all todeath in an instant. It was however, a very beautiful creature of thekind, and as the sun then shone very bright, the golden and silverstreaks upon its azure skin made a very splendid appearance. Myyoungest son wanting to go and stroke it;--"No, my pretty boy, said thegood Bramin; if you have any value for yourself, you will always keepout of the reach of such creatures as these, and of all such whoresemble the young lady by whose soul this serpent is animated. I say_young lady_, because the serpent before you is indeed animated by thesoul of the late Miss _Abigail Eviltongue_. The family of the_Eviltongue_, (I dare say you have heard of them) is extremelynumerous; for there are some, and indeed too many of them, in everytown, and, I believe in every village in the country. Miss _Abigail_,the young lady I am speaking of, had as just a title to the name, andsupported the character of her family with as much exactness as any oneamongst them; for her tongue was remarkably active, and spared thereputation neither of friend nor foe. She was, it is true, a veryhandsome girl, and the charms of her person would have procured hermany admirers if they had not been disgraced by her natural propensityto slander and defamation. In her very infancy, as soon as she couldspeak to be understood, she began with telling fibs of the servants,and very frequently of her brothers and sisters; for which, you may becertain, they all despised her very heartily. But as she was too muchencouraged in this hateful practice by her parents, instead of beingseverely flogged for it, as she ought to have been, she set the frownsand sneers of the others at open defiance; and the more they resentedher little malice the more eager she was to gratify it by loading themwith all the falsehoods she was capable of inventing. In proportion asshe grew older, this mischievous habit increased upon her; and when shewas big enough to go a visiting, she indulged it abroad with as muchfreedom as she had been used to do at home; so that, in a short time,there was scarcely a young miss or master in the neighbourhood whosecharacter she had not attempted to injure. What made her slanders themore odious was, that she generally vented them under a pretence of thegreatest friendship and respect for the persons to whom she relatedthem, and with great seeming pity for those whose reputation they wereintended to destroy. She had likewise the malicious cunning to say manytrifling things in praise of the objects of her censure; that by thusassuming an appearance of the strictest impartiality, and of thesincerest good nature, she might more easily gain credit to the badthings she said afterwards. By such artifices as these she frequentlysucceeded with the innocent and the unwary, and set one acquaintanceand even one friend against another, without any sort of advantage toherself but the mere pleasure of making mischief. Another trick whichshe often employed for that purpose, was to examine into a younggentleman or lady's constitutional foibles (for we all have some) andwhen she had discovered these, to go immediately to the person and tellhim or her, that master or miss _such a one_ had publickly ridiculedhim for those very failings; by these means she was almost certain tobe believed without any farther inquiry; for every one, even upon theslightest hint, will readily suspect that those things have been saidof him, which he most wishes to be concealed, because he is consciousthey are _really_ true; he will seldom trouble himself to inquire intothe veracity of the tale bearer, lest he should be reduced to thenecessity of defending himself on his weakest side. For a similarreason, when Miss _Abigail_ had a mind to flatter any person (which shefrequently would, to answer the purposes of her malice) she alwayscommended him for those particular good qualities, or accomplishmentswhich she knew he most valued himself for, or chiefly wished to havethe credit of; because she was sensible that by this method sheeffectually retained his own vanity as her advocate for whatever shesaid afterwards. Nay, I have been informed by one who knew herperfectly well, that, young as she was, she sometimes carried herartifice so far as to begin a dispute with the person she intended todeceive, and after a little sharp altercation _pro and con_ to flatterhis vanity by gradually giving up the argument, and at last yieldinghim a victory, which gave him the more pleasure, because he thought itto be entirely owing to the invincible strength of his judgment. Butshe had another fault, which, if possible, was still more odious, thanany of those already mentioned--viz. to revile and backbite those fromwhom she had received the greatest favours; for as she was too proud toown herself to be under obligations to any person, so to prevent othersfrom taking notice of them, as she imagined to her disadvantage, shewould represent every obligation she had received from her friends tobe either of the most trifling consequence, or to have been bestowedfrom selfish and despicable motives. Such was the temper and behaviourof Miss _Abigail_, who was a wretched complication of malice, lowcunning and ingratitude: It is therefore no wonder that every person ofsense and character was careful to avoid her company, and that she wasdetested by many, and despised even by those who wished her well. Inshort, the general contempt to which she had exposed herself, and thesevere mortifications she met with from time to time, gave such killingwounds to her pride, that after pining and wasting away with shame andvexation for the space of several months, she at last broke her heartand gave up the ghost, in the seventeenth year of her age. After herdeath her contemptible soul was immediately hurried into the body ofthis venomous serpent, where it still retains its former malice andcunning."--When the Bramin had finished his story, the serpent, as ifshe understood and resented what had been said, writhed about andhissed at him as if she could have stung his eyes out.

  We afterwards visited several other apartments, and saw a young tyger,a fox, a badger, &c. each of which was animated by the soul of somenaughty child, who very nearly resembled him in temper. But as I haveperhaps, already carried my treatise to such a length as will tire theeyes and the patience of my little readers, it is proper to bring it toa conclusion. I will, therefore, take my leave of them for the present,with observing that in one of the rooms we visited, we saw a prettylittle parrot, in a gilt cage, who was perpetually talking, but did notunderstand the meaning of one single word he said. "This noisy bird,said the good Bramin, is inhabited by the soul of the late master_Gabble_, who was remarkable for two faults. He always spoke withoutthinking, and read a great deal with so little attention, that he madeno farther improvement in knowledge than if he had never read at all.He devoured every thing, but digested nothing." If any of my readershappen to be of the same disposition, they may survey the gilt coversof this little treatise with as much advantage as they will peruse thecontents of it.

  FINIS.