A Picture-book of Merry Tales Read online

  _Owlglass eats the Priest's Fowl._]

  When told to fetch a pail full of water, he brought it only half full,and when he was to put two logs of wood on the fire, he only put oneon. The cook saw well enough that all this was done to vex her, andsaid to her master that if he kept such a perverse fellow in his houseshe would leave it. Owlglass defended himself, saying, it was quitenatural that having only one eye she should see the work only halfdone. At this the Priest laughed; but to appease his cook was obligedto dismiss his man, promising, however, that he would be a friend tohim.

  [Decoration]

  V.

  _How Owlglass was forbidden the Duchy of Luneburgh, and bought himself Land of his own._

  Owlglass had played so many pranks in the Duchy of Luneburgh that hewas forbidden the land, the Duke giving orders that if found there heshould be hanged. Nevertheless, he continued to pass through the Duchywhenever his road led that way; but one day, as he was riding alongdevoid of care, he saw the Duke himself coming with several followers.Then he said to himself, "If I fly I shall be pursued and cut down,and, if I remain as I am, the Duke will come up in great anger and haveme hanged on the nearest tree;" and most provokingly one stood closeby. There was not much time for consideration, and none to be lost,so, jumping off his horse, he killed the animal, and, ripping it open,took his stand in its inside. Now when the Duke came up to him he wasastonished at his impudence, and still more so at his extraordinaryposition. "Did I not promise you," he said, "that, if found in myterritory, you should be surely hanged? What have you to say foryourself?" Owlglass answered, "I put my trust in your Grace's goodness,and that you will not carry your threat into execution, seeing thatI have not done anything to deserve hanging." "Well," said the Duke,"let me hear what you have to say in your defence, or rather, tell mewhy you are standing inside your horse?" Owlglass answered, "I sorelyfeared your Grace's displeasure, and thought I had better be found inmy own property, where I ought to be safe." The Duke laughed, and said,"As long as you remain where you are you shall be safe," and then rodeaway.

  Owlglass made the best of his way over the frontier; but it was notlong before he had occasion again to be in the Duchy of Luneburgh, andhearing that the Duke was coming to the neighbourhood where he was, hestraightway got a cart and horse, and going up to a peasant, whom hesaw digging in a field, he asked whose land it was. The peasant said itwas his own, for he had lately inherited it. Hereupon Owlglass askedfor how much he would sell him his cart full of earth. They agreed fora shilling; and Owlglass paying the money, filled his cart with earth,in which he buried himself up to his arm-pits, and drove leisurely onhis way.

  _Owlglass Rides on his own Land._]

  It was not long before he met the Duke, who, seeing him sitting thusin the cart, stopped, and, with difficulty restraining his laughter,said, "Owlglass, have I not forbidden you my land on pain of death?"To this Owlglass answered, "I am not in your Grace's land, but sittingin my own, which I purchased from a peasant whose inheritance it was."The Duke replied, "Though sitting in your own land, your cart and horseare on mine; but this once more I will let you go in safety; beware,however, that you do not come again, for then nothing shall save you."Owlglass then immediately sprang upon his horse and rode off, leavingthe cart behind.

  VI.

  _Of the Manner in which Owlglass paints a Picture for the Count of Hessen, and how he persuades him that those of base birth could not see the Painting._

  After Owlglass had wandered all over Saxony, and was so well knownthat his trickery and scheming were no longer of any avail, he wentto Hessen to the Count's court. The Count asked him what he could do,to which he answered, "Noble Sir, I am a painter such as is not to befound far and wide, for my work far surpasses all other." The Countthen said, "Let me see some of your work." Whereupon Owlglass producedsome curiously painted cloth which he had bought in Flanders. The Countwas well pleased, and said, "What must I pay you to paint the wallsof the grand saloon, representing the origin of the Counts of Hessen,and how they have held on in friendship and enmity with the kings ofHungary, and other princes up to the present time?"

  Owlglass said for that he must have two hundred pounds; which the Countagreed to pay if he did the work well. Owlglass stipulated for onehundred pounds to be paid in advance, that he might buy colours andhire assistants, and also that no one but his assistants should enterthe saloon during the progress of the work, so that he might not behindered. All being agreed to, he hired three assistants, with whom hesettled that they were not to do any work; but he nevertheless paidthem their wages, and they employed themselves mostly playing at cardsand dice. A month passed by, and then the Count desired to know whatprogress had been made with the work, and also to be allowed to enterthe saloon. Owlglass now said, "Noble Sir, there is one thing I musttell you, namely, that the base born cannot see my work."

  _Owlglass shows his Picture to the Count._]

  The Count was rejoiced on hearing this, thinking how he could prove thebirth of all by whom he was surrounded, for he was mightily proud. Theythen entered the saloon; and Owlglass partly drawing back a cloth,which he had stretched across the side of the room he was supposed tobe painting, said, pointing at the same time with his mahlstick, whichhe held in his hand, "Here you behold the first Count of Hessen, inwhose noble bearing I trust you recognize the great founder of yournoble house; by his side you see his wife, daughter of Justinian,afterwards Emperor of Bavaria: they had issue Adolphus, from whomdescended, in a direct line, William the Brave, Lewis the Good, andso on up to your own noble self. You will not fail to appreciate howskilfully I have brought into my composition each worthy personage,occupied in a manner best suited to his character. The drawing I knowis faultless, and I hope you admire the richness of the colours." Nowthe Count said nothing to all this, and he said to himself, "Can it bepossible that I am base born, for I see nothing but the white wall?"However, for the sake of his own honour, he expressed himself wellpleased, adding that his want of knowledge of art prevented his doingfull justice to the great talent displayed; whereupon he left the room.As soon as the Countess saw him she anxiously inquired how he likedthe painting, for she had her doubts of Owlglass, who appeared to hera rogue. The Count said he was well satisfied; and on her expressinga wish to see it, said she might, with the painter's permission. Sheimmediately sent for Owlglass, and requested permission to see hiswork. Owlglass answered that he should be most happy to have heropinion of what he considered his masterpiece, telling her, as he hadtold the Count, the peculiarity about his work, that it was invisibleto the base born.

  The Countess went to the saloon with eight attendants, one of whom, adistant relation of her own, was rather weak-minded. Owlglass drew backthe cloth, as he had done before, and explained his painting in thesame words as to the Count. The Countess stared at the wall and then athim, and at the wall again, but did not make one single observation.The attendants were equally mute, excepting the weak-minded one,who looked at the wall and her companions in astonishment, and thenexclaimed, that base born or not, she could see nothing but a whitewall, and was convinced there was no more painting on it than on theback of her hand.

  The Countess went straight to her husband, and told him that she wasas well satisfied as he had been; but that her weak-minded relativemaintained that there was no painting whatever on the wall, and thatOwlglass was an impostor who was making fools of the whole Court.

  The Count was vexed at this, and scarcely knew what to think; butdetermined to see whether any one else would make similar observations,he sent word to Owlglass to have everything ready on the following dayto receive a visit from himself and his whole Court. On receiving thismessage Owlglass immediately dismissed his assistants, and went to thetreasurer and begged to be paid the hundred pounds that were still dueto him. He got the money without difficulty, and the following day wasno longer at the Court, nor anywhere in Hessen.

  [Decoration]

  VII.

  _How, at Erfurt, Owlgl
ass taught a Donkey to read._

  Having had such signal success in the arts, Owlglass determined to tryscience and letters; and therefore, when he came to Prague, in Bohemia,he had notices stuck up, on the church and college doors, stating thathe could solve the most difficult questions. His answers, here, puzzledthe learned more than they had puzzled him with their questions; andthus made bolder in impudence, he went to Erfurt, where he gave outthat he could teach any animal to read and write.

  Now, at Erfurt there was a celebrated university, and all the learneddoctors met together and discussed what they should propose toOwlglass, so that they might disgrace him, and come off with greaterhonor, themselves, than their brethren of Prague. As soon as they hadcome to a satisfactory conclusion, they had Owlglass called beforethem, and the head of the university said that they had determined toput a donkey to school with him, if he would undertake to teach it toread. Owlglass agreed to do this without hesitation, adding that, as adonkey was naturally a dull animal, they must allow him a reasonabletime and a sufficient sum for the support of his scholar during thecourse of his instruction. After conferring among themselves, thelearned doctors proposed that twenty years should be allowed for theaccomplishment of the task, together with a sum of money which Owlglassthought sufficient; and having received part of the money in advance,he led his scholar off to a stall he had constructed on purpose forhim. He felt no difficulty in his position, for he would be freed fromall responsibility by the death of his pupil, which, at any time,could be brought about, but for the time being determined to have somesport. He took an old book, which he laid in the donkey's crib, havingstrewed some oats between the leaves, and when the animal found thisout, it turned the leaves over with its tongue to get at the oats. Now,when it no longer found any it cried out, "E-aw! E-aw!" which Owlglassnoticing, at once went to the head of the university and said,"Learned Doctor, would you not like to see how my pupil is gettingon?" "Does he improve?" the Doctor asked; to which Owlglass replied,"He is naturally uncouth and difficult to be taught, but by great careand perseverance I have brought him on so far that he pronounces someletters." Several of the dignitaries of the university assembled atthe donkey's stable, and as soon as Owlglass placed a book before thepoor creature, which had been kept fasting all day, it eagerly turnedover the leaves, looking for the oats, and not finding any, cried witha loud voice, "E-aw! E-aw!" "You hear, my worthy Sirs," Owlglass said,"that he already pronounces a vowel and a diphthong pretty distinctly,and I have every hope that his progress will now be more rapid."After this exhibition, Owlglass one night fastened a notice up at thecollege door to the effect that the donkey, his scholar, was now fullycompetent to be at the head of the university, and to instruct theother donkeys of Erfurt, whom he therefore left to his charge. Owlglassthat night disappeared from the town, not forgetting to take with himthe money he had so deservedly earned.

  _Owlglass's learned Donkey._]

  VIII.

  _How Owlglass brought it about that the Watch of Nurenberg fell into the Water._

  After leaving Erfurt, Owlglass dressed himself as a priest, and,travelling about different parts, levied contributions wherever hefound ignorance and credulity, of which there was no lack. He carried adeath's head about with him, which he pretended was the skull of SaintBrandonis, possessing miraculous virtue for the cure of all mannerof illnesses. He also pretended that he was collecting subscriptionsfor building a church in honour of Saint Brandonis, and that all whobrought an offering would, by the intercession of the Saint, findit restored to them a hundredfold before the year was over. When hearrived at any town or village he sought to find out any prevailingvice or sin, and would then give out that, from persons addicted tothis particular vice or sin, he could not accept any offering for theSaint. By these means the offerings flowed in more abundantly than hadever been collected, for those who felt themselves most guilty weremost eager, by their offerings, to prove their innocence. Thus Owlglassgot his pockets well filled and went to Nurenberg, where he determinedto rest for a time from his labours, and enjoy himself as long as hismoney would last. After being there some time, and knowing all thein's and out's of the place, he grew tired of idleness, and nothingcould satisfy him but a piece of mischief. During his wanderings hehad noticed that, in the evening, the town watchmen assembled togetherin a cellar under the town-hall, and that to get from the town-hall tothe pig-market a small wooden bridge had to be passed, which crossedthe river called the Pegnetz. Bearing all this in mind, he waitedone night till the whole town was quiet, then, after breaking threeplanks of the bridge, he went up to the town-hall and set up a furiousbellowing and shouting, at the same time striking the paved road withan iron spiked stick till the sparks flew on all sides. This roused thewatch, and as he ran away, they chased him towards the pig-market.Owlglass jumped over that part of the bridge where he had broken theplanks, and stopped on the other side, shouting to his pursuers, "O!O! you pig-headed timber-toed rogues, is that the way you run? I see Imust needs wait for you!" This enraged the men, and all together theyrushed on the bridge, which giving way where he had broken the planks,they fell one over the other into the Pegnitz. There he left them, andturned his back upon the town of Nurenberg.

  _The Watchmen of Nurenberg._]

  [Decoration]

  IX.

  _How Owlglass appears as Dentist and Doctor._

  Owlglass visited Schomberg, where he had notices posted that he wasa celebrated dentist and doctor; that he could not only cure thetoothache without extracting the tooth, but that the most inveteratedisease would immediately yield to his remedies.

  He met with a wag who was willing to join him in cheating the goodpeople of Schomberg, afterwards to share the plunder with him; andfor this purpose his accomplice pretended to suffer intolerable painfrom toothache, but immediately that Owlglass had administered a pillto him, which was nothing more than simple bread, he professed to beperfectly cured.

  This wonderful cure took place before all the people, whereat theywere greatly astonished, and they crowded to him to be cured of everyimaginable pain; but Owlglass appointed all to meet him on thefollowing day, at a stated time, for he was in treaty to restore thepatients of the hospital to health, and that before that great work wasaccomplished, he could not undertake any fresh case. The master of thehospital, on hearing Owlglass's announcement that he could cure alldiseases, had applied to him, for he had the hospital full of patients,and was most anxious to be rid of as many as possible. He agreed to payfifty pounds, Owlglass engaging that the next day the hospital shouldbe free of patients.

  Now this is the way he set about the serious task. He went to thehospital and asked each patient separately what ailed him or her, afterwhich he said:--

  "You must now solemnly swear that you will not reveal to any livingbeing what I am about to tell you." And having received the requiredpromise, he continued:--"The only way in which I can cure you is bytaking one of your number, and burning him to powder, give a portion toeach of the others. Therefore, I shall take that one amongst you who ismost seriously affected, in order that the others may be saved. Now tofind out which is most hopelessly ill, I shall place the master ofthe hospital at the door, who will cry with a loud voice, 'Let thosewho are well come out;' and then the one that remains behind I shallburn to powder. Do not forget what I now tell you, for I should besorry to have you sacrificed."

  _Owlglass administers a Pill._]

  The following morning he said to the master:--

  "All the patients are now cured, the truth of which you will find; forif you stand at the door and cry out, 'Let all those who are well comeforth,' you shall see that not one will remain behind." It happened,indeed, as he said, and the hospital was left empty, whereupon hereceived the promised fifty pounds, besides many thanks. After this hereceived all who sought relief, whatever their sufferings might be; andgiving each one of his bread pills, for which he took a small sum, hepromised a perfect cure in three hours' time.

  Before this
time had elapsed, however, Owlglass left the town with hisillgotten earnings.

  X.

  _How Owlglass sells his Horse to a Jew, and on what Terms._

  Owlglass stopped one day at a roadside inn, for he had ridden a longway, and both he and his horse were tired. On entering the kitchen,which served as travellers' room, he found a Jew and two or threecountrymen, who had watched him as he rode up, and were joking abouthis and his horse's appearance.

  As I said, he had ridden a long way, and his horse, which was none ofthe handsomest, jaded and covered with dust as it was, cut but a sorryappearance, his own not being much better. The countrymen thoughtthemselves rather wags, and one said, turning to Owlglass, "That is ahandsome animal of yours." "And it must be allowed," the other added,"that the gentleman sat the spirited creature well. I should not haveliked my sweetheart to see him as he came along." The Jew was glad toput in his joke, too; and, when it appeared he could do so with safety,said:--

  "Is the shentleman willing to part with his handsome beast? For ifso I shall be happy to deal with him, as it would just suit a greatnobleman, a particular friend of mine, for whom I have been looking outfor a horse; but he is very particular, and up to the present I havenot been able to find one good enough for him."