Pleasures and Follies Read online

  "And so am I," said he, shaking me with his thumpings. He reencunted twice over and I matched his discharges; indeed, I outdistanced him. "I believe I'd work ten men dry," I said as I washed. I asked him to advise my fiancé of what had to be done in order justly to encunt me. I shot my tongue into his mouth, smiled and left.

  I had been fucked twenty-five times in the course of the day, seven by my own father. I returned to my house, but every man upon whom my glance stopped tempted me. How happy whores must be! I thought. They accost whomever they please. All of a sudden an idea popped into my head. I'll go to see Guac, I'll tell him to pommade me. Let him cleave to me in two, no matter so long as he fucks me! I quickened my pace.

  He was with an attractive young man whom he told to hide directly he heard my footsteps approach. But I saw the young man through the keyhole. Guac received me with a mysterious air and led me into the half-lit room where I'd seen him conceal his visitor. "My darling, my beloved wife-to-be," he began, "I believe I might stuff you today; you need but give evidence of some complaisance."

  "To be sure, but don't overlook the pommade"

  "I understand." I felt him turn me over to some gentler hands. Someone seized my breasts, my cunt, a tongue insinuated itself into my mouth. I replied with caresses. A hand lifted my skirts. I advanced my cunt prettily. A body got upon me. I felt a lump of butter being inserted into the entrance of my cunt, another into my rosebud. There was a push, I responded. To my astonishment, I sensed virtually no pain at all. Finally, the invading prick reached the depths of my womb – still no pain – and now a discharge. The abundance and sweet warmth of the fuck brought words to my lips. With an incredible pleasure, with wildest transports, I cried, "Dearest lover ... divine lover ... I am expiring from happiness and voluptuousness ... I adore you!" The young man decunted. He sucked my nipples, my lips, had me stick forth my tongue. Then, without a moment's delay, he reencunted me furiously. I had as much pleasure this second time as before. To be brief, he did it again and again, incessantly, and it was Guac who took him away at last. For my part, already fucked twenty-five times that day, I believe I could have stood at least another twenty-five with these two men simultaneously, if both of them had been able to stuff me.

  Guac, noticing that I was having difficulty walking, sent for a cab while I rinsed out my cunt. "Well, my charming queen," quoth he, "have you been satisfactorily fucked?" I blushed. "Far from being tired," he pursued, "I'm dying to fit my shaft in your asshole."

  "Oh, no, no, you mustn't!" I cried, alarmed.

  "As you like, my dearie. But you will frig me a little, won't you? Frig me with both hands, just as you are there with your ass in the bidet." I frigged his heavy member, so bulky I could barely get my hands around it. When fuck was about to spurt forth, he fell to shouting with pleasure. "Your mouth," he roared, "your mouth, else I'll dip it in your ass!" I slipped the foreskin clear of the gland, pressed the latter between my lips; the fuck spurted forth. Fearing lest it spill on my bubs, I opened my mouth and a torrent of fuck shot down my gullet. I swallowed it as one would a draught of good ale, a right copious tankard of ale, and warm. "Fuck! Fuck!" howled Guac. "I'm getting dizzy. Ah, celestial slut, you're worth more than all the rest of the women in the world. Is it good, the drink? What causes so much pleasure coming out must surely be good going in. Ah, divine whore! I'll feed you a diet of that stuff!"

  The cab arrived at the door. Guac carried me out – I'd been fucked for the thirty-seventh time that day.

  My aunt's brother was alone in the house when I reached it. "Mademoiselle Convelouté," he complained, "you are cruel to me. I hear you are preparing to marry. It would seem to me you ought to favor a young man who adores you rather than this fiancé of yours who is ugly and a widower. You are a virgin and so extremely lovely! What is more, he's very thickly equipped – so at least your uncle has given me to understand – and he'll certainly hurt you. What if a more youthful prick were to ready you for your marital career? Look at it," – and he fetched out a truly charming prick. "'Tis a real maidenhead-tickler, and it'll never give you so much as a twinge of regret. I know my business, Mademoiselle. My sister's husband had a nervous device and is very quick on the trigger, and she has the good sense to call me in now and then to clean the cobwebs out of her trick."

  This language pleased me and the prick I was staring at looked inviting. "I, however," I replied, "have no cobwebs to be swept out." He saw from my manner that I was in a cheery mood, and laid hands on my breasts. "Have done, libertine," I said coaxingly, retreating in no great haste before his advances. His hand reached my cunt. "Oh, indeed! Have done, this is too much." His breeches lay on the floor, his prick was nodding in the air. He deposited me upon his sister's bed, cleared away my clothes and got aboard me, whilst I said nonchalantly, "Ha, Sirrah! You are then capable of resorting to violence?" I defended myself in a way intended to further his ends.

  "Ah, heavenly girl, innocent thing, lamb, I'm stuffing my prick into your fleece." In it went. I replied by twitching my ass in a feigned attempt to avoid what I desired and managed to swallow two more inches of sausage. "No," he cried, opening the sluices, "no, nothing can be compared to encunted innocence!" However, fearing least I get away, he thrice renewed his attacks without once decunting – that brought the day's total to forty – and did not leave me until he heard the approach of footsteps. I ran off to wash.

  It was my aunt. She said to her brother, "Fortunately you're with Miss Convelouté. Anyone else would have lost her nerve before the possibility of an interruption. Tell me, did you attack her?"

  "I did."

  "Well, then I suppose you're about done in. Come here, I'll comfort you." There was still some oil left in his lamp. The young man bolted the door, thus encloseting the three of us, and then sprang upon his sister whom he penetrated in a trice. Great heavens, how her flanks heaved! "Stuff it deep!" she exhorted him. "I'm getting ready to discharge, fuck me, dig deeper yet, hug me, fuck me, gouge me, fuck me blue in the face!" I watched them. Revived by the spectacle, my insatiable cunt was starting to yearn for a prick when a soft knock was heard at the door. I hoped it would be a cousin of my aunt's who had for a long time been eager to put it in me, and I was determined to push him into an adjoining room and satisfy his ambition. But no, 'twas a handsome youth who looked very much like the young man who had fucked me with Guac a little earlier in the day.

  "Mademoiselle," he began, "your name is Aglaé Convelouté?"

  "It is, Monsieur."

  "Mademoiselle is the fiancée of Monsieur Guac?"

  "That is correct."

  "Do you greatly love that gentleman?"

  "Sir, reason rather than passion makes for a wise marriage."

  "In that case, Mademoiselle, it shall cause you no distress if I reveal a secret to you."

  "And what secret would that be?"

  "This: a short while ago you supposed it was your fiancé who was possessing you."

  "What tales are you bearing hither, Monsieur?"

  "I was there, but hidden out of sight, Mademoiselle. His battleaxe being unable to cleave you, he sold me your maidenhead for one hundred louis: I deflowered you, no other. Might you prefer me to him?"

  "But can all this you tell me be possible?"

  "'Tis the truth. His member is too thick. One was just inserted into you. It was mine." (I knew all this perfectly well.) "There is but one thing to say," he pursued. "Will you marry me?"

  "Ah, can you marry me?" I demanded in my turn.

  He hesitated. "Mademoiselle, I am already married to an old crone of seventy-eight. She bestowed her fortune upon me. I am obliged to wait until she dies."

  "And were I to become pregnant, Monsieur? No. I shall wed Monsieur Guac."

  "Do you wish to be my mistress?"

  "That would not, I think, suit me."

  "But with his consent?"

  "Do you then have his consent? Why then," said I, "since you have had me once already, and since he agrees to the thing
, I'll do as you like provided he is not told that I know of his agreeing."

  "Splendid! This signifies your correctness and honesty. Are you presently alone?"

  "No, my aunt is here."

  "Could I have you tonight, after dinner?"

  "Gracious! I should never be able to creep out of the house, unless I were to give the excuse I was going out to look after my father, supposing that he was ill ... but he isn't ill. No, it's out of the question."

  "With your permission I shall go and have a talk with your father. I am wealthy. Better that I should give to you rather than to that poor wretch Guac the price of your favors."

  "Very well, speak to my father."

  "I'll come back to fetch you if he honors my request."

  "But don't come back alone. I want to hear his decision from the lips of one of his servants."

  "As you wish. Be easy."

  He repaired to my father's house. He related how Guac, unable to depucelate me himself, had sold my maidenhead to him for one hundred louis, which sum was in payment for four séances. A quarter of the total was already in Guac's hands. He told as well how he had encunted after pommading me; how he had found my gem delicious and so satin-like that he wanted no other; how he had asked to go to bed with me and how it had been by my advice he had addressed himself to my father. He then offered the balance of the fixed price: seventy-five louis for the three remaining nights. "Since Guac wanted to be a cuckold," my father answered him, "so be it. I agree, Monsieur, that you sleep with my daughter if you were the one who plucked her rose – and she will verify that. Go bring her here. I'll give you a note for her." He wrote a short message, then accompanied my beau as far as the door of my aunt's house, within which she was still being fucked by her brother.

  Meanwhile, I was enjoying myself watching the amorous progress on the bed. I was all afire when the young man reappeared with my father's note in hand. Through the window I caught sight of the latter: he was waiting in my pretended depucelator's carriage. I left the house, saying I was going to keep my sick father company. When we arrived, the gallant ordered a fine supper brought in and handed twenty-five louis d'or to the cashier. We ate, we drank, then I was tucked into bed. The young man demanded that my father undress me and wash my cunt. He removed every stitch he was wearing in a flash and donned an out-sized nightshirt he had brought along. This garment permitted him greater freedom of movement. He summoned my father in insert his prick in the entrance of my cunt. That done, he pushed; and he had no less trouble now than previously at Guac's. This surprised me. He remarked to my father, "Her cunt is really tight. She'd grow a new hymen in a week if she were left alone." He fucked me six times. My father, lying next to us, each time inserted his blade into the scabbard. Soon after, my fucker fell asleep and I did also. The following morning he had chocolate brought in. I felt refreshed and refused the offer of his coach when he proposed to take me home to my aunt's in it.

  For it was not to my aunt's I wished to go. I had heard it said that fuck swallowed warm was excellent for the chest, fortifying it and whitening the tint of the skin. I wanted to quaff off a goodly dose of it, and my thoughts focused on sucking Guac's prick. As soon as I was free, I dashed to his lodgings and found him getting ready to go out. "I've come to give you some pleasure," I said, "but shall not take any, for yesterday you wearied my dreadfully."

  "Well, my dear, what's on your mind? An embuggery, a little thigh-fuckery? A frotch between the shoulderblades or under the armpit? I can contrive to squirt into your ear, upon your neck, between your bubs if you'll squeeze 'em, over your navel, between your calves – if it's your calves, you'll have to squeeze them too. Or would you like me to glove my prick in one of your slippers? You have only to ask and I shall do anything for you, save encunt you. We seem rather a mismatch in that sense." Instead of replying to this harangue, which was pure Greek to me, I unbuttoned his fly and set to frigging him with one hand while, by instinct, I tickled his nuggets with the other. He began to howl with delight: "Goddess ... bleeding sacred bitch, divine whore ... frig, frig, tickle ... tickle my balls ... oh! Oh! What sensations! Buggress, slut, tramp ... whore ... angelic creature ... my fuck's coming!" Upon hearing this last exclamation I mouthed his large prick, rubbing the gland with my tongue. 'Twas then the good Guac, hurled into delirium, through a wealth of allusions gave evidence of a learning which only increased his stature in my eyes: "Fuck! Heavenly mouth! Aphrodite's cunt, cunt of Cleopatra, Egypt's queen, encunted my Anthony, Laïs's cunt, Aspasia's, Phryne's, the cunt of Dame Agnes Sorel, of Marion Delorme, of Ninon, of Madame d'Aubigné, of Mesdames la Vallière and Pompadour and Duthé and la Lange, of the pretty Marc, of the adorable and provocative Mézerai, of the youthful and naive Henry, you are as nought compared to this mouth! Oh, I'm fucking ... fucking ... fucking-ing-ing ... discharging ... oh, swallow it, swallow it! Gorge yourself on fuck, my empress!" And he spewed forth half a keg of it. I kept on pumping at the source. "'Tis too much," he cried, "one dies of that sort of pleasure." He had me take some coffee to rinse my mouth. Then I began to frig him anew. He sucked my nipples, my tongue and would have sucked my cunt; but I demurred, expecting to be fucked later than evening. He got stiff again, I shook and twiddled and stoked his machine. I tickled his spheres, more fuck appeared and I swallowed another brimming measure of it. This happened a third time; mere lack of time forced us to separate.

  At nine that evening, a coach came to take me to my father's. There, we supped, fucked, and slept as upon the previous night. On the morrow, after chocolate, I went to Guac's for my breakfast of fuck. Returning to my aunt's, her husband, probably having conferred with his wife's brother, was eager to put it in me; I gave him a firm refusal. He complained to his wife, who in turn reproached me, but, once I had informed him that my fiancé had stuffed me ten times in succession with my father as witness, she begged my pardon and advised her husband to wait his turn in line.

  I was to be called for that evening. Before going, my aunt whispered in my ear, "Try to avoid a fucking so that your uncle can put it in you tomorrow; he's dying to." I found my lover at my father's house. We talked of Guac during supper. My lover said that, having been encunted in his presence, I ought not fear becoming pregnant. "That," he added, "is why I headed straight in and discharged in the cellar."

  "'Tis a great pleasure for me to put your prick in my daughter's cunt." my father remarked. "I enjoy thinking of the horns growing on that confounded and most dishonest Guac who had the temerity to sell your pucelage."

  "That is just what brings me to a boil when I fuck his fiancée." my gallant affirmed. "One more antler on that bugger Guac's head – the very idea refills my balls no matter how often I've emptied them. It even occurred to me," he went on, "to give each of you fifty louis if you'd fuck together: the knave would thus be recornified and supercornute!"

  "Capital notion!" my father exclaimed, "Very original indeed! After you've seen to your business, you can pop my prick into my daughter's cunt for me."

  "Oh no!" I cried. "Gracious!"

  "You'll hold on to her if she appears recalcitrant."

  "Those aren't my ideas." I told them. "If I wiggle my ass the way I do when my lover fucks me, it is because I love him. As for Monsieur Guac, I have much to be grateful to him for. He is like a nurse to me, you know. One might even say he suckles me." Neither precisely caught my meaning; they led me to bed.

  My lover fucked me six times. Upon the sixth, he said to my father, "That's it, my friend. Get aboard and fuck her. I'll insert the engine." My father climbed onto me. The young man slid his prick into my cunt. Father pushed. As I was more fond of him than of any other living person, I put my flesh furiously into motion, doing as nobly as any princess fucking a page-boy. Inspired by our frenetic activity, the young man waxed so violently hot upon beholding us discharge that he rolled us on our sides and embuggered me even while I was still encunted. I went to wash and then we three went to sleep.

  At breakfast the next morning, the y
oung man seemed wild with joy. "Ah, by God! That one's been smartly cuckolded!" he cried. "Here, my good chap, here's the hundred louis. You'll really have to fuck her after she's married and I'll pay twenty-five louis per shot." He left and I hastened off to find Guac whom I was growing to love as much as I love my father.

  He greeted me with rapture, calling me his divine slut, his heavenly whore. I milked out his fuck six times over, and this hurled me into such an erotic panic that I dashed away to locate my father. "Your solicitor," I panted, completely out of breath, "must surely have recuperated from his losses by now. I'm burning ... run fetch him, Father dear, if you love me!" He went, calling me Cleopatra. He found the young man outside the door, his erect prick in his fist. "I was standing here when a moment ago I saw your daughter enter and I am frigging myself in her honor," he explained.

  "Don't you do it, my boy. You've not a drop to waste. Come back in with me and stuff her, if you please."

  "Twenty-five louis–"

  "Nonsense. That's an outrageous price to charge a steady client. One louis per shot, that should be fair enough. But, who knows? She may earn the twenty-five from you after all." They entered the room where I was awaiting them. As he came in, the solicitor tossed his purse upon the foot of the bed. "Come, show your calves, girl," my father said heartily. "that many fucks, that many louis. But you mustn't kill yourself, my little friend. He was frigging himself when I found him out on the sidewalk. He says he was thinking of you." Upon hearing this I cast my arms around his neck, thrust my tongue in his mouth, agitated, then withdrew it, and said, "Ah, dearest, most beloved friend! I adore you."

  "And I you," he replied, fondling my breasts and cunt. I fell backwards, he fell on top of me. I plunged his prick into my cunt and in four heaves of my ass I felt him strike bottom. He discharged when he sensed that I was melting. He fucked me ten times. "I've credited you with fifteen louis," said my father as the solicitor cleaned himself and drew back on his breeches. "Come back whenever you like."