Pleasures and Follies Read online

  The gentleman found these conditions highly acceptable and the definitive decision was put off until after a business trip whence he expected to come back in a week or ten days. I returned to Conquette with this news.

  "Papa," said she, "however much or little he fucks me, you will always be there, won't you, to take your daughter in your arms and perchance put your prick in her cunt? You and he shall be my two fathers. I'll even renounce your extraordinary former secretary if you promise to encunt no one but me. Where will you find a cunt better adapted to your requirements? Hold your fuck strictly in reserve for me, as you shall your heart, Oh, most lecherous of fathers!" It was plain she was jealous. I encunted her straightway. But I was too much of a libertine to confine myself to the exclusive fuckery of the woman I loved most.

  Madame Brideconin brought us some cool lemonade. She was lame, had been born that way, but she limped in a seductive manner. She had arranged her hair in a new fashion. Though pockmarked, she was exceedingly provocative. I said so to my daughter.

  "Even before our parties began," Conquette told me, "her husband was eager to stuff me, but I found him displeasing. Since last Sunday, his wife has approached me twice and asked to suck my cunt. They both adore me, but I haven't let them do anything serious – nothing but kiss my feet. He fucks her whenever I tell him to. I watch. It's a little pastime I indulge in while waiting for Sunday to come. All I need to do is sit down in front of Brideconin with my skirts raised ever so little. That's enough to get him started. He grows so excited when he sees my ankle and then my lower leg that he hops abroad the whore. He keeps it up as long as I like. I give a tug at my skirt and he sets in anew. If he catches a glimpse of thigh, it's pandemonium: he begins to roar with lust. One day, when the weather was especially warm, I decided to give my cunt some air and raised my skirts all the way. That fucker saw the view and brayed like a mule and nearly split the landlady in two. He exploded fuck all over the room, continued to rummage in her cunt and was like to kill himself with overwork when his wife glanced at me. She finished her discharge and came over and pulled my skirt back down. Brideconin was terribly weary and didn't feel at all well, as a matter of fact."

  Conquette's little story stiffened me, but I thrust my prick in cool water again. When my desires had subsided, I dried my engine, buttoned my breeches, and left.

  We restrained ourselves throughout the remainder of the week.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Sunday arrived. With the exception of Rose-Mauve, who was indisposed, all the company assembled. Tendrelys came unescorted and of her own free will. Trait-d'Amour had called at her home and found her absent and that had annoyed him, but he was delighted, upon entering with his sister and mistress, to discover the young lady already there and in Conquette's arms, having her nipples sucked by the latter. Trait-d'Amour thanked Ingénue for her tenderness towards the girl by kissing her asshole and cunt. Cordaboyau and Brisemotte were the last to arrive. We sat down around the table as soon as Cordaboyau, after having run to look for Rose-Mauve, returned to say that there had been some new developments since our last meeting. He handed me a note from the missing actress, and I passed it on to my daughter. Upon my suggestion, Trait-d'Amour read it aloud. Here is what it contained:

  "My divine friend,

  "Accept the homage I pay your angelic cunt and matchless feet. Yesterday – I am writing to you on Friday – I put on the shoes you lent me in order to determine their effect upon the prick of a certain notary's clerk, my sister Rosalie's lover, who I have been eager to get away from her. I also wore her best hat, which becomes me so well because of my dark brown eyes. I had your dress on – the white skirt with the pink background. It seemed to me a good idea to borrow your pretty shape about the ass, and mine looked wonderfully well in your dress. Well, in the rue des Cinq-Diamants, I heard some one say behind me: "Yes, 'tis she, 'tis she, my own goddess, no doubt of it!" The speaker approached me. "Ah, my beauty, we're just a short step from where I live. Why not come along with me now, since your father has already talked matters over with me?" He took me by the arm. I let him lead me on, thinking that surely, when he recognized me, he'd release me and ask my pardon, especially after having fucked me. No, not at all. He noticed no error, or acknowledged none. He conducted me to an apartment on the first floor where, to be sure, there was not a great deal of light to see by. He fell to his knees before me, or rather before you. "Most lovely one," said he, "Your eyes are a little different today – they seemed to me to be of another color when earlier we met – but your brown hair is quite as lovely as ever. I confess that I always looked more closely at your feet than at your face, perhaps from shyness, perhaps not, for I am mad about your feet, charming though your face is. I recognized you perfectly from behind – who could mistake your walk, your figure? Do you love me?" I believe I replied affirmatively..."Ah, my happiness knows no bounds!" he exclaimed, beginning to kiss me. He sucked my tongue, stroked my bubs, seized hold of my bush. We fell upon an ample sofa, and my skirts were lifted, before I knew it I was being fucked. I pitched my ass furiously this way and that – I was anxious to please him, after all, and he did enjoy himself. "Ah!" he said. "You know what men like!" We concluded our frolicking, then he showed me where I could wash, had me pour water over his prick, wiped my ass and cunt, and licked my cunt hair and buttocks. Next, he summoned his housemaid. "Is dinner ready?"

  "It shall be in fifteen minutes, Sir. Will you take some wine first?" He ordered her to bring a bottle of Alicante. We chatted, we drank. "Shall we go down now, my lovely one? We can settle it at once." We applied to the notary next door: six thousand pounds a year – five hundred a month and a month in advance. What do you think of that? I signed on the spot. I went back up as well endowed as I'd gone down well fucked. We dined together, tête-à-tête. When the domestics had left us to ourselves, he bade me bare my bubs, then he got me drunk on champagne. He dipped his prick in some sparkling wine. I drank the glass down at once after having licked his prick dry. He found the gesture enchanting and decided to pop his prick into my mouth; he did, I sucked it. He found this better still. "Ah," he said between outbursts of pleasure, "you are my goddess indeed, the whore Nature intended to my mine! I don't want to discharge into your mouth, for I simply haven't enough fuck properly to anoint your precious cunt. Show it to me, do, and let me kiss it!" He kissed it. "Capital! Fare thee well till tomorrow," and he called for his carriage. His serving maid sponged my ass and cunt. His carriage took me home.

  "Tonight I am to install myself in his apartment; a suite of rooms has been set aside for me. I stayed in bed until late in the morning. And so, lovely Conquette, I owe my good fortune to you. I have your adorable cunt to thank for it, and above all your voluptuous footwear. While we were riding in his carriage, my generous fucker promised he would shortly have me bumfucked in his presence by a pretty jockey, whom he has previously employed to embugger in two different circumstances. He admits to a violent predilection for the asshole from time to time. So he told me.

  "Godspeed and godfuck thee well, oh divine fuckeress!"

  We were at a loss for what to say. Tendrelys embraced Conquette, saying, "Oh, if he only knew you better!"

  I was inclined to go and disabuse my self-deceived son-in-law; my daughter restrained me. "He loved no more than my shoes," she said, "and he was not unfaithful to them. He got what he wanted."

  Tendrelys applauded this observation. "It's not for me to say, but I agree with you entirely."

  Madame Brideconin, wishing to be welcome at our parties, whence she extracted pleasures of which hitherto she had not even dreamt, had invited along one of her husband's sisters, a heavily pockmarked creature, but otherwise the most provocative and biggest bubbed hussy of eighteen you could hope to see. The slut doubted whether we'd be much tempted by her ill-favored sister-in-law, for she knew we were accustomed to the best in good looks. But the landlady was mistaken. It was this big-busted wench who served us at table. She was solidly made, and had a sple
ndid narrow waist. As soon as she'd got all the men's pricks aloft, they bade her stir herself no more and they themselves went to get and carry away the dishes. At dessert, I was asked to recite the story of the depucelated cunts Minonne had mentioned – the same story Madame Conquette Ingénue had stopped me from telling for fear lest it prove too stimulating. I agreed not to recount it, and Conquette was content to listen."

  "I shall tell you," I said, wiping my lips on my napkin and kissing the bubs belonging to my active fuckeress, "how I depucelated Victoire Beaux-Talons, Virginie Motteblonde, Rosalie Conrose, as well as Suzannette, her younger sister, then Manon Aurore, Souir Mignard, Léonore Robé, Jeanne de Margane, the perfume seller, and Saccadine and Voix-Flûtée, two itinerant cunts.

  "The first time I clapped eyes on the voluptuous Beaux-Talons, she was in a brown dressing-robe, wearing white cotton stockings, black patent leather shoes with heels higher than Conquette's. She gave me a promise of violent pleasures. Unseen, I followed her. It was evening, she turned into the alley beside her mother's shop. The stairway was dark and I walked close behind her. She unlocked the door; the shutters were drawn in the room. 'Twas pitch black in there; she shut the door. 'Ah, it's you, Monsieur Capahu,' she said, hearing my breathing. 'I thought I was alone.' I slipped a hand beneath her skirt. 'Oh,' said she, 'you're always up to the same thing. Shall we have some light?'

  "'No, leave the shutters as they are.' I hunted about for a bed. She retreated. I caught her. Down we went ahead.

  "Oh, but you're simply dreadful,' she declared, nevertheless readying herself for the attack. I delivered it; she replied thrust for thrust, saying, 'Ready, I must do my best, otherwise you accuse me of not loving you.' My pleasure-taking was delicious although straightforward and without accessory refinements. Victoire was so lovely, and I had had such a desire for her.

  I wanted to leave without being recognized but a knock came at the door. I did my best to prevent my terrified fuckeress from going to open it, but she burst away from me. 'It's my mother or my sister,' she whispered. 'Stay here or go, whichever you prefer.'

  "I went. She..."

  Finis